ON EMBRACING UNCERTAINTY - BY KATE SMITH

One long ago summer (2025), I was with friends, debriefing the most recent season of theatre auditions, and I shared that I had chosen to skip auditioning for Seat of the Pants that year. I admitted that I just hadn’t had the confidence for it. Knowing little of what the SotP process truly entailed, I asked, half-joking, half-sincere, “What if I don’t know how to make shapes?”

“Kate,” someone earnestly replied, “You can make shapes.” 

And so, it was with this small amount of borrowed confidence that I found myself at the auditions for this year. Still generally unsure of my shape-making abilities, I stepped into the room armed with two contrasting monologues and a nervous smile. I’m glad I did, and it obviously worked out, because here I am sharing this story with you.

But being cast did not magically erase my uncertainties about my skill set and whether or not I truly had what it took (yes I could make shapes, but could I imbue them with meaning? Would they be good?) It wasn’t a lack of belief in my overall training and experience. Walking into the unknown can be scary at any age. So I was exceedingly grateful for the number of familiar faces as I entered the rehearsal room for the first time. And appreciative when the room agreements asked us each to quiet our insecurities and not let our self-deprecation take up space when we were working. This is easier said than done for me, but I can appreciate a good covenant and I would give it my best. 

So I embarked on a journey of new tools and vocabulary and ways of seeing and sharing. There were shapes to be made (I learned they’re actually called Psychological Gestures) and imaginary rooms to explore. We were doing it together. I wasn’t alone in finding it new. I wasn’t alone in any of it. In this carefully constructed and well-thought process there was a deep sense of safety born out of a sincere invitation to show up and play together. 

The show has now opened and we have had the gift of grateful audiences sharing in our work. More than one person has spoken about how strong our ensemble seemed, how balanced. We are and I know it is a gift of the unique process that Seat of the Pants has embraced. The additional time spent together and the intensity of exploration makes for a deeply rewarding experience as a performer. For anyone that has questioned whether it is for them (or doubted their own capacity to make shapes) I cannot recommend enough to just go for it. There is so much beauty to be found.