NAVIGATING IMPOSTER SYNDROME: BRETT RADKE

Opening is quickly upon us. The form of our play is crystallizing as we refine acting moments, blocking, transitions, dialect work, etc. This weekend we moved into tech where we added the set, lighting, sound, and eventually costumes. The speed at which we are moving, after months of play and experimentation, feels daunting at times. For me, this drums up some big hairy feelings of “imposter syndrome” as we get closer to sharing our work with an audience. It’s been a while since I’ve performed live for an audience as much of my pandemic life has been spent teaching. The pressure to prove that I can practice what I teach feels ever present. Can I stay present, grounded, and connected to my body and voice while inhabiting the technical demands of the play? 

I am reminded of a response that Patsy Rodenburg offered at a recent conference for voice and speech trainers. When asked about navigating imposter syndrome she said, “Knock on your heart and know what you know. Trust that.”

It immediately resonated with me on many levels. One of those levels is this production.

Amidst the many new variables we are navigating as we get closer to opening, I am reminded of the immense generosity of the cast, creative team, and the process as a whole. On top of that, I have my own lived experience and training that I am bringing into this process. Why throw my focus onto the infinite unknowns when I can trust the multitude of knowns that I have within and around the process?  

“Knock on your heart and know what you know. Trust that.”

This is the headspace (heart space?) that I want to live in as we move into sharing our work with an audience.