ACTOR SPOTLIGHT: PROCESS SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVER[ING] w/ Jacki Dietz
Fat actor. Those two words often induce some sort of internal and external reaction. Admit it - you winced reading the words - got super uncomfortable or if you are a fat actor, you may have smirked. It elicits a response. Nothing about being an actor is easy on the psyche - we are scrutinized, discussed, and judged based on physical appearance far more than our ability to tell compelling stories. We like to say physical appearance doesn’t matter. It’s a new world! A new way of making art! Declarations of Equity! Mission Statements!
(Friends, I have been at this for a long time - I’ve dipped my toes in the professional space, the semi-professional space, the community spaces, and I’ll believe that when I no longer see: “Small, attractive, athletic build” in a character description about a character whose arc and story has nothing to do with athletics or being small and attractive.)
The Micheal Chekov technique can be a daunting and intimidating tool to pick up. It asks for physical curiosity and freedom of movement that fat actors are told that are not required or desired of us. It’s a simple ask - align your Chekovian Chakras (Mind, Heart, and Willing Center), cross that Threshold, and move. See what it does. The movement has a beginning, middle, and end. Breathe. Radiate. Receive. What does it do? Discuss. Sir/ma’am/friend, this industry has conditioned me to hide my body. Perform various Jedi Mind tricks to make you stop staring at my apron belly, or back rolls and look at my face and hear my words. Walk a certain way, look a certain way, dress a certain way - and now you just want me to move- don’t think about it- just move? With OTHER PEOPLE AROUND? Are you f***ing with me? Is this a joke?
But I do it - why? Well, I signed a contract; I was curious about this process, and this was a part of said contract. I start out pretending that I am not completely self-possessed and self-conscious and in my head about absolutely everything. Then at about the third rehearsal, I get bored with getting in my way and I just start moving- and in that movement I discover things about my character that I hadn’t thought about before. This gesture generates sorrow - but it’s not a molding sorrow - it flows…. But if I do this gesture with a different quality, it changes everything…. The Chekhovian Chakras align – and I realize I am not concerned about how I look moving, but how I move. I am startled at the depth of my ability, and the abilities of my scene partners. It’s a lot to wrap my mind around after the fact. The complete antithesis of everything I know about how to get work, and what my expectations of work should be as a fat actor. And that BS is all still outside the rehearsal door - but I think that maybe the next time I read “small, attractive, athletic build” for a character whose story and arc has nothing to do with being small, athletic or attractive, I may just align my Chekovian Chakras and send in the self-tape.
