MANEUVERING THROUGH DOUBT: BY GEORGE ROTH
When Craig Joseph called to offer me the part of Frog in the Seat of the Pants (SotP) production of Heidi Shreck’s Grand Concourse I was flattered, delighted, and filled with a modicum of doubt. Let me explain the doubt part.
SotP’s reputation as a company that produces thoughtful, fully-explored theater pieces preceded it, but so did its reliance on having the cast participate in an immersive boot camp preceding the traditional rehearsal period where the cast could revisit old methodologies and learn new ones, allowing them to start the “rehearsal” weeks with a common language and toolbox of techniques and philosophies that would sharpen the creative process ahead. There would be an emphasis, but (I would learn) not an over-emphasis on the teachings of Michael Chekhov.
All of this was exciting to me. As a drama student at London’s Royal Central School of Speech and Drama in the early eighties and during my decades-long acting career, I developed a well-earned reputation as someone who loves research and experimentation.
The challenge, and henceforth the doubt, was the fact that I am now 66 and have had multiple sclerosis for close to twenty years, only diagnosed in 2015 when my cerebellum and brain stem became inflamed. To misquote a line spoken by my character, Frog, “Balance is not my strong suit,” and I knew that movement would be a strong element in several of the techniques we would be learning/using. I didn’t know if this old dog was up to learning any new tricks
MS 2015 had ostensibly retired me as an actor. I couldn’t climb stairs. I couldn’t change direction very easily, and the wings of most theaters are small, cluttered places that require a nimbleness I no longer possessed. But my daughter, Olivia, challenged me to tailor my weekly physical therapy sessions to plot a return to the stage. I did, and I did.
I returned to acting. The directors of the plays on which I worked made blocking and stage design accommodations to suit my needs – more sitting, railings on stairs, and so forth. They were changes to suit the limits of my ability.
But now I was committing to a SotP production which would involve me accommodating learning new ways of working that would test my physical limits. I didn’t want to let Craig and my fellow actors down by not being able to fully participate in the exercises of the early weeks. The exercises would give us a common vocabulary, but would also allow us to bond as a company, and that’s the theater experience I live for.
At the first rehearsal of “Grand Concourse,” after introductions and Craig’s overview of what was ahead, we rose and participated in the exercise Staccato Legato, which aids an actor in being aware of his body in space with purposeful movement, coordinating breath and voice.
Natalie Kern, our Assistant Director, carefully and supportively led us in the exercise. It was the kind of exercise I relished when I was a twenty-something drama student in London, but now I was fixated on the lunges and changes of balance required. I was frustrated that I couldn’t perform the exercise to the extent that my mind wished it could. I knew I was the Rockette kicking out of time, showcasing my deficit.
I probably made some self-deprecating joke about it. Craig assured me that I could make modifications to any exercise we learned. If I needed to sit, I could sit. If I needed to take a break, I could take a break. His offer of accommodation made me dedicate myself to fully participate in every exercise to the best of my ability, with the goal of doing every lunge, every weight shift, every balance challenge. Knowing I could tap out, gave me the strength to spend the next six weeks testing the outer boundaries of my balance and strength. It would prove restorative.
My physical therapist occasionally tests me to document a new baseline of my ability to walk distance and straight lines. We both noticed a marked improvement after I had spent six weeks rehearsing for “Grand Concourse”.
Being a part of this production, with the kindness and generosity shown by Craig and Natalie and Michael and everyone involved, has been a very positive experience for me, even before we perform the play. Grand Concourse has been imbued with positivity and creativity from the start, and it has been valuable to me both creatively and physically. This old dog has revisited some old tricks and most certainly learned a few new ones.