BREATHE LIFE INTO THEM: MERIAH SAGE
We live on stage in two truths at once- our artist selves and our character selves. My main character, Duckling, had the super-objective (what she wants throughout the full show) of emancipation. As we got further into rehearsals, I realized that as an actor, I was actually seeking the same thing.
Most obviously, Duckling wants to be free from her prison sentence/servitude, free from her literal and nonliteral chains, free from hunger, abuse/oppression she endured. She also wanted to have her own agency, voice, and choice. Harry saved her from being hung but he/the powers that be/the system prevented her from LIVING. As the rehearsals continued, I grew to understand that Duckling was also caged by deeper restraints, her learned survival tactics: lack of trust in others, low perception of women, low self worth, etc. Barriers are layered and complicated.
As an actor, I started the rehearsal process looking for answers about how to “apply the Chekhov Technique to performance with an ensemble of artistic partners.” During rehearsal, I realized what I really wanted was not an “understanding of how to apply” the technique, but a way to let it live in me. I was looking for freedom from my own intellect and from - as Patsy Rodenburg calls it - the “little fucker” who sits there on our shoulder and judges us.
As a character, Duckling starts to become free when Harry invites her to do the play. Theatre is the catalyst for her journey to liberation. The rehearsals offer her freedom to make friends, to be treated as a human being, to make choices and they even empower her to ask for space to have her voice heard. I think Duckling achieves (at least in part) her super objective- she learns to let go, find love, and speak her truth.
I, too, found freedom. It came in the group scenes and partner scenes first. The trust in (and joy with) the ensemble let me play with the tools, not be trapped by technique. My monologue was trickier. While James was on stage with me, his character was unconscious. I grew frustrated with my own inability to let go. I was doing too much, trying to balance too many things. It wasn’t working. So, after advice from a friend, I started to take everything away. Craig helped me select one single action, “Breathe life into him with your words.” This simple action became my drive and I was finally able to live in the moment, with ease, and joy. I felt like I could fly. The feeling of artistic liberation in those last few weeks of the show will be something I will never forget. I am deeply grateful.